So we have a small time grocery chain in Texas called "David's Supermarket" and I hear their commercials on the radio all the time, ALL THE TIME, despite not having a store within a 50 mile radius of where I live, and yes I just checked. And that's fine. Radio has a long range. I understand that. But the song gets stuck in my head and the closing line is "DA-vids SU-PER-market! Where the SMILES are FRE-eeee". And everyone is supposed to think that it's all cute and charming and home-towny but it is in all actuality AWFUL and UNACCEPTABLE and I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHY.
YOU GUYS. SMILES ARE ALWAYS MOTHERFUCKING FREE.
And this just IRRITATES me because they put it in their JINGLE and DO THE TERRIBLE JINGLE WRITERS NOT SEE THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS FREE? EVERYWHERE? IT IS A FREE SERVICE THAT PEOPLE IN CUSTOMER SERVICE DO TO ENCOURAGE REPEAT BUSINESS AND IT IS ALSO A NONVERBAL FORM OF COMMUNICATION THAT HUMANS (usually) USE TO CONVEY PLEASURE.
SMILES ARE FREE, JINGLE WRITERS. OTHERWISE THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF BIZARRE SMILE PROSTITUTE.
(Which, come to think of it, that job actually wouldn't be all that bad, probably. I'd be a Liz Lemon.)(EVERY GIRL WANTS TO BE A LEMON.)
Hah. There's a grocery chain here (in Iowa), who's jingle is "There's a helpful smile in every aisle," which I suppose is kind of what this is going for.
ReplyDelete"Where the smile's are free," just makes me think, 'the smiles are only free because we haven't found a way to charge for them yet, but we charge you out the ass for everything else, suckers!'