Flit

This has somehow turned into The Year Of Four Vacations And It Is Only May, Who The Hell Am I Anymore? The me from five years ago would not even believe this shit. I mean, I can just...go? And travel? By myself? Adults do that. That is a grownup thing to do. They make plans and rent cars and go and do things in different cities (or countries if they are so inclined and have a valid passport and get...shots? I think there is probably a lot more that you have to do to go somewhere exotic (I live in Texas. EVERYWHERE IS EXOTIC.) but I don't know what all is entailed in that because I only went to Mexico once and it was only for dinner and we just...walked across the bridge. I still feel a little bit weird about this because I was, like, 14 years old and with twenty other youths and I was terrified that they were not going to let me back into Texas because I didn't have a driver's license. I remember silently begging immigration officials to let me back across the bridge so I could finish painting this lady's house with my church group and then I could go back home because I missed my mommy.)(They totally let me back into the country. It cost a quarter.)


THAT STORY STILL MAKES ME IRRATIONALLY ANXIOUS.

That was a long tangent-filled story (HELLO AND WELCOME TO MY BLOG.) so I'm starting a new paragraph.

Anyway, I went on vacation last week because back in February I met this lovely lady at a pajama party for Internet Ladies and we got along so swimmingly that we started up an actual friendship and she invited me to come and visit her. And HOLY CRAP, DID I HAVE FUN.

First off, Erin has the most adorable baby ever. I mean, seriously. Look at this child.

Her cheeks make uteri implode on the regular.
True story.

Ooooooohhhhh, man. I LOVE toddlers. Portable AND interactive! Easily distracted! Think you have performed hilarious stage magic when you make zerberts on their round little bellies! Treasure random items found around the house and that they then clutch in their fat little dimpled hands! Get really, really excited about balls! HELLO. TODDLERS ARE PERFECTION.

So, yeah. I spent a lot time with this baby and it was swell. (Also, I taught her a word: "down"! I was really, really trying for "rocket" but alas.)

And when we weren't chasing after this gal we were MAKING ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

Well, not ALL. But certainly A VERY LARGE AMOUNT FOR 2 1/2 DAYS .

Oh. Hey. We're at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.
Just. Hanging out.
LIKE I HAVE WANTED TO DO SINCE I WAS THREE.

I am an unabashed nerd. I am also very-much a Museum Person. Being here was ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS (Art! History! Science! Gummi candy!) ROLLED INTO ONE.

Gummi space shuttles.
GUMMI SPACE SHUTTLES.
THIS PRODUCT ACTUALLY EXISTS. AND THEY ARE DIVINE.

The museum trip also graced me with the following picture but before I show it to you, could you do me a favor? It's not a huge favor or anything, like, SOLVE WORLD PEACE! and shit, but could you do me a solid and just close your eyes for a second and think of something serious and then when you are ready open your eyes and scroll until the next picture? Yes? Ok.

BOOM. YOUR DAY JUST GOT MADE, SON.

You smiled even though I specifically asked you to think of something serious, didn't you? Thought so.

So, yeah. There was a miniature wind tunnel to show children the effects of wind resistance on flight and we walked past and I practically shouted "ERIN. STOP RIGHT THERE. YOU LOOK FABULOUS WITH A PERSONAL WIND MACHINE. I AM GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE."

Annnnnnd, then that picture came into the world and the angels wept from laughter.

Also, we fed the baby astronaut ice cream. And her wide eyed wonder pretty much mirrored my THIS PLACE IS SO AWESOME face.

I highly recommend the Smithsonian, especially if your companion is a baby who is obsessed with ABALLS.

ABALL!

We didn't just go to a museum, by the way. We also saw monuments.

And columny buildings that enjoy columns.

You can't really tell from this crappy cell phone picture, but everywhere you think you see a window, it is actually window flanked by columns. #ostentatious

And we went to the petting zoo!

I fed a kangaroo! YOUR FRIDAY IS INVALID. ALL OF THEM.

The way that Kristen Bell feels about sloths is how I feel about kangaroos. By the time we reached them I was literally vibrating with excitement.

We saw many other animals there and they were also cute. But not as cute as that kangaroo that I fed and secretly named Louise and was trying to figure out how to stuff in my purse. (IT WAS AN OVERSIZED PURSE. IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED. DON'T CRUSH MY DREAMS.)

This baby has NO FEAR when it comes to animals. NONE.

But maybe occasionally some suspicion.

 The coolest ladies.

There was delicious food with local beer (I maybe got a little drunk and told embarrassing, over-sharing stories. So, typical day? Minus the booze?) and a strawberry rhubarb crisp (what does rhubarb even TASTE like? I still have no idea and I ATE SOMETHING THAT HAD IT IN IT.) and a CHEESE PLATE. So fancy! And it was in a restaurant that had a working farmhouse attached to it! A working adorable-as-hell farmhouse!

Aside: the restaurant looks smaller from the outside than from the inside and I just kept wandering around drunkenly while trying to find the bathroom and mumbling "...It's bigger on the inside. Did I find a TARDIS?"

But mostly, even though I got to see and do amazing things (I also learned how to knit. Seriously, in those 2 1/2 days I checked more off my life list than I had in YEARS.) I just really enjoyed spending time with Erin, who is thoughtful, funny, gracious, and kind and her beautiful family. It has been a rough few months (more on THAT later, I'm sure. I am chatty.) and it was really affirming to see a marriage that was a real partnership. It legitimately gave me hope. (Erin+Kevin=IRL OTP forever and ever, amen.)

All in all? Best. Vacation. Ever.

 Ignore the weird thing my hair is doing ok?

P.S. Erin put a snake where I sleep. Because she is a Slytherin.